He Isn't Chapter 12

Miyagi could stand it no longer. He refused to ride the train to and fro from work. He didn't care what the cost, he wasn't going to deal with the crowds and the hustle and bustle. With a new set of keys in hand, the dark-haired man left the rental car agency, practically skipping. The car wasn't anything special, just a simple silver compact car, but to Miyagi, it may as well have been loaded with gold and jewels.

He tossed himself down in the driver's side and started the car up, squirming in satisfaction at the sound of the motor running. He pulled on his seat belt and cranked up the radio, in too good a mood to make much fuss over picking a particular radio station. His ride to work was the best he had, had in weeks, possibly even better than when he had gotten his car from the repair shop. (Before it had gotten stolen and sunk.)

He parked his shiny rental in his normal spot at the university and stepped out, all smiles. Even his lousy class of students couldn't darken his mood, because today was the start of something wonderful.

"Ka~Mi~Jo~ I'm having such a good day!" Miyagi pushed his rolling office chair over and bumped into the brunette's, causing the smaller man's arm to jerk, a long pen mark appearing across his paper.

"OI! Look what you did!" Hissing in rage, Hiroki scrambled to find some correcting liquid. "You have it I bet! You're always taking my office supplies!" Sure enough, when he went to investigate Miyagi's desk, the correcting liquid was hiding behind a stack of papers titled: Final Exam.

"Is this why you're so excited?" Snagging one of the paper packets off the top of the stack, Hiro held the final exam out for his superior to see. "I mean, I enjoy watching those kids sweat as much as the next person, but don't you think you're going overboard a bit Professor?"

"It's not just that..." Miyagi hummed, pushing him back over towards his desk, this time running his chair straight into Kamijou.

"Will you stop that?"

"Look." Paying no mind to Hiro's fussing, the older man dug through his bag until he found a small envelope. He pulled it out and held it up for his co-worker to see. Still miffed, the brunette took the envelope and opened it up to view the contents. Inside was nothing more than a small rectangle of paper. A plane ticket, bound for Australia.

"You're sure about this?"

"I leave the day after the final exams are over." Miyagi took the ticket and envelope back, holding them almost delicately. "I figured the worst he can do is reject me, right?"

"Well, yeah, but that's a long way to go just to get rejected." Hiro carefully, albeit awkwardly, set his hand on his friend's head. "I'm not saying you shouldn't go, but be prepared for the worst, alright?"

"After the kind of summer I've had Kamijou, I think I'm pretty much ready for anything."

--

"Are you ever going to talk to me again?" Playing with some of his long blond hair, Collin stared miserably at the boy in the bed next to his. Shinobu hadn't so much as breathed a word to his roommate for almost three days, unable to get over the fact that due to the blond's idiocy, he had missed the only chance he had to talk to Miyagi. "C'mon Mate, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry. You didn't know. You didn't mean to." The gray-eyed boy's voice was laced with venom. "You can say all that till you're blue in the face, but I'm never going to forgive you."

"Well... At least you said something." Trying to lighten the mood, Collin smiled at Shinobu, but the angry boy simply glared back before turning away to face the wall. "You can't keep holing yourself up in here. Your sister keeps asking to see you and I've run out of excuses."

"Funny... You haven't run out of excuses why I missed my phone call."

"Shinobu! Stop it already!" Exasperated the Aussie got up off his bed and onto the honey-haired boy's. He lightly placed his palm down on Shinobu's back. "I'm sorry. I mean that."

"Get off."

"You need to get up. You're going to make yourself sick worrying about-... Miyagi I think it was."

"Don't say his name." Covering his ears lightly, the smaller boy buried his face deeply into his pillow. The last thing he wanted was to think about Miyagi, he much preferred seething over Collin's mistake. "Just leave me alone."

"Shinobu, there's no proof that anything happened to him. He could have gotten out and there's just no news about him." The blond's voice softened and he ran his fingers lightly though Shinobu's tangled hair, leaning over to rest his head lightly against his roommate's back. "The summer term is almost over. You can take your exams and then go back to Japan to look for him. I'll even buy your plane ticket."

"I said get off!" Shinobu pushed himself up harshly, turning so he could shove Collin back off his bed and to the floor. "I don't want you to do anything for me except leave me alone." Looking wounded, the Aussie stood up and headed for the door.

"I'm sorry."

--

"It's a shame we didn't get to hang out much while I was here. I didn't mean to upset you so much." Risako's voice was light, nearly emotionless. She hummed as she paced around the small dorm room. "You should have given me a tour of your school."

"It's not that special." Shinobu griped, starring dully up at his older-sister. "You'll keep looking for Miyagi when you head back to Japan, right?"

"I promise. If I find him I'll send word to you right away."

"Thank you." Swallowing roughly, the gray-eyed boy rose from his bed to give his sister a light hug. He had never been very close to her, mostly due to their age difference, but he loved her all the same. "I probably won't be coming home for the holidays."

"I'll let Mom and Dad know." Throwing some of her dark hair over her shoulders, the woman wrapped her arms around the distraught boy. "Just do your best to pass your exams. Then you can enjoy your time off before the fall term starts."

"Oh, Risako, before I forget. When you get back to Japan can you see why my cellphone service has been turned off?"

"Anything for you." Giving Shinobu one last tight hug, Risako pulled away and started for the door. She had to hide the little sneer that was forming from his request. "Call me on the school-line if you need anything."

--

"Grading all these papers sure is a pain!" Miyagi was beginning to see little red ink circles everywhere he looked. His students had done better on their exams than he expected, but still the grades were stifling. "I honestly wonder how many of them payed attention!"

"Maybe your heart wasn't as into teaching as it normally is." Hiroki suggested, leaning over Miyagi's shoulder to look at the test he was currently grading. "My students all got top marks."

"Only because you threatened them with their lives!"

"You do what you have to do sometimes."

"Story of my life." The older man huffed, shaking his head. "When we get off work, do you want to go get some coffee or something?"

"Oh-... Ah-... I can't. I'm meeting someone." Looking flustered, 'Devil' Kamijou turned away from Miyagi, trying as hard as he could to hide his embarrassment. It wasn't as if his co-worker didn't already know who he was meeting, but still the younger man felt the need to be secretive.

"Must be nice to be young and in love~"

"Oh come off it! Get back to work!" Hiro exclaimed, waving a book threateningly toward Miyagi, who couldn't help but smirk as he continued on his quest to grade the stack of exams in front of him. The older man never ran out of new ways to tease his subordinate.

He took his time, being sure to pour over the tests to make sure he graded each and every one of them accurately. By the time he was finished, he was glad Hiro had rejected his offer to get coffee, the clock showed half-past midnight. He tidied his desk and gathered his things, starting out into the night.

The air was growing cool and the leaves on the trees had already started to change color and fall off the trees. Fall was steadily approaching, leaving summer behind like a faded memory. It was hard for the dark-haired man to imagine that just a few short months ago things between him and Shinobu had been pretty much normal.

That is, except for the distance that had grown between them, highly due to Miyagi's busy schedule at the time.

I really wish I had made more time for you. Though there really was no use in wishing to go back and change the past, the man couldn't help himself. He wished he had been kinder to Shinobu, made more of an effort to be there for him. The regrets were too numerous. Stupid brat... What makes you think you have the right to make me feel so lonely?

His house had felt emptier and emptier with each day since Shinobu had left. There was no longer a grumpy voice welcoming him home. The smell of cabbage being pitifully burnt in a pan had faded away. Even the soft sound of Shinobu's footsteps on the floor was gone. Little things that Miyagi had never taken much notice of were gone from his life and more noticeable than ever.

It hadn't of been so bad before, when he doubted he would hear or see Shinobu again, but now that he would soon be facing the boy who had left him he felt uneasy. It was making Miyagi more and more aware of the empty space left behind by Shinobu's absence. He didn't know what he would say when he saw him again, how he would explain why things had ended how they had. How he would explain the lack of phone-calls over the summer. How he would explain that Shinobu was still the most important person in the world to him.

Miyagi knew that it wasn't going to be a pretty reunion, but if he didn't face it, he would lose any chance he had left to get him back.

--

"I told you that it was a bad idea to lay around in bed all day sulking." Collin was busy dabbing at the sweat on Shinobu's forehead, brought about by a fever. "You haven't been eating right."

"I wasn't hungry." Shinobu grumbled in his defense from around a thermometer. He pushed the washcloth away from his face as the timer began to beep. Collin quickly yanked the device out of the other's mouth and looked at the screen.

"One-hundred two."

"You don't have to take care of me. I'm fine."

"You are not fine! This isn't healthy. If you don't cut this out I'm going to be forced to call the school nurse up here to take you to the infirmary." Collin's voice was firm and Shinobu knew better than to think he was bluffing.

"It's just a fever."

"I don't care what it is!" Irritated and still hurt from rejection the day before, Collin's voice took on the same angry tone it had when he'd caught Dollie and Shinobu up in the lighthouse. "This is ridiculous! Your arms are not broken, use your phone and call your Ex up! See if he answers!"

"I don't have service!"

"C'mon Mate! Your mobile phone isn't the only phone in the world you know! The school has a line you can use! They even let you make international calls if you pay fee."

"But-..." It wasn't as if Shinobu hadn't thought about using the school-line, it's just that he wasn't sure what the result would be. If Miyagi didn't answer the phone, then what would happen? Would he be able to deal with the outcome?

"Just because he doesn't answer, doesn't mean he's not there." Collin murmured, lightly brushing some of the honey colored bangs out of Shinobu's face. "Look, I know you're not a big fan of mine at the moment, but I'm here for you. I like you Shinobu, more than I've liked anyone. I'll do anything I can to help you out, even if that means letting you go."

"What do you mean letting me go?" Turning his gray-eyes on the Aussie's face, a flutter of heart activity started up in Shinobu's chest.

"Your Ex would have been one hell of a guy to keep up with all your hysterics. He's got to have more sense than to go throwing himself into a lake. Use your head!"

"That doesn't answer my question. Collin."

"I think I've fallen for you." The blond confessed, turning his blue eyes up towards the ceiling. "The worst part about caring about someone, is knowing when you have might have to say goodbye someday. If you get in contact with that guy, I'll go get one of my cabs from work, and we'll get you on the first plane back to Japan. I'll make sure you see him again."

The room grew silent as Shinobu chewed over Collin's words, pang of guilt throbbing in his chest. He hadn't had a clue just exactly how much the Aussie had cared for him, but it was becoming blatantly obvious. Yeah, Collin had made a mistake, but was Shinobu really going to be the kind of person to hold that against him forever? Especially after everything that Collin was trying to do for him?

"I'm sorry." Pushing himself up into a sitting position, Shinobu seized one of Collin's hands and dragged him up onto the bed, wrapping his arms tightly around the blond's waist. "I'm not really good with words or anything, but I'm really grateful to have met you."

"I'm glad too. It's been a wild ride, but it's been fun too." Collin laughed, somewhat shakily, and returned the smaller boy's hug. "Let's go see if we can't get a hold of that Ex of yours."

--

With a strong arm wrapped tightly around Shinobu's waist, the Aussie led the way to the room where the phone was kept. It's specific purpose was for students who wanted to call their family or friends, but due to the rise in cellphone ownership, it wasn't used often. The room was hardly big enough for the two of them, filled with a bench and a table, to which an old style corded phone was bolted down.

"This is cozy." Collin observed, having to hold Shinobu in his lap for the most part.

"Just shut up and tell me what to do." His fever was making him feel weak enough without Collin adding to his pain with his snide comments.

"I'll put enough money in to give you about five minutes of talk time. You pick up the receiver, then you press 'one' and dial out the number you want to call." As he explained this, he began to put money into slot on the wall. "Remember you only have five minutes. I'd give you more time but this is a lot more expensive than I thought."

"Says the boy who swore up and down he would do whatever it took-..."

"Within reason! I'm a poor college student. We don't all have money like you."

"Yeah, yeah," Shinobu huffed, leaning back against Collin so he could rest. Maybe it was his fever or maybe it was the overwhelming feelings that had cropped up from what he was about to do. His body felt shaky and weak and he wondered if he would even be able to dial correctly.

"I'm going to step out to give you some privacy." The blond offered, sliding Shinobu out of his lap and onto the bench. The gray-eyed boy turned to look up at the Aussie, giving him a nervous stare before turning back to the phone. He picked up the receiver, punched in a one, then dialed Miyagi's number.

"Please answer." Shinobu whispered, saying it almost like a mantra. One ring. Two. Three. Four. His heart began to clench up and sink. "Answer."

--

Toothbrush. Check. A few changes of clothes. Check. Passport and carry-on bag. Check.

Miyagi was busily going over his list before getting ready to leave for the airport. Hiro was waiting (Impatiently of course.) in the doorway, intending to drive Miyagi and drop him off, that way he could return the rental car. The two didn't say much as they road the elevator down to the parking garage, nor did they speak on the way to the airport.

Hiro could tell Miyagi was nervous, if not by his silence then by the mass amount of cigarettes he had lighted and snuffed out before smoking. The brunette hardly ever saw his superior so uptight and although he knew he should offer some encouragement, he couldn't seem to get his tongue untied.

"I hope you find what you're looking for." Not really one for fancy speeches, Kamijou hoped his words would at least calm Miyagi down enough to get him to the terminal.

"Thank you Kamijou, you always know just what to say to get me in the mood~" It was Miyagi's way of saying thank you, cracking a joke and flashing a smile.

"You're so messed up in the head."

Both men had something of a bond, though neither one was going to get real fancy with explaining how it worked. Miyagi understood what kind of person Hiro was and Kamijou knew how Miyagi was in return. In the few years they had known one another, they had formed a funny kind of friendship that either one doubted would be disappearing anytime soon. It was probably that friendship that had kept them mostly sane during some of the more difficult periods of their lives.

"You take care of that kid, alright?" Jabbing Hiro in the side with his index finger, Miyagi leered in satisfaction as the brunette jumped in his seat.

"You want to crash the friggen rental? Last time you bothered me while driving I crashed into a light pole!" As the smaller man was about to go on a tangent Miyagi's cellphone began to ring. They exchanged a glance before the phone was retrieved from a carry-on bag.

"I don't know the number." Miyagi murmured flatly, trying to make out anything that might tell him who was calling. When he couldn't find a single thing he recognized, he simply pressed the End Call button. "It was probably a sales call."

--

"He hung up on me." Shinobu sighed, walking out of the phone room. The Aussie had been waiting outside when the gray-eyed boy came out, looking misty-eyed and defeated.

"Call again!" Collin exclaimed, pushing his roommate back towards the phone.

"No!"

"Shinobu, if he hung up on you he was obviously there to physically do it! I bet he just didn't recognize the number you were calling from."

"Wait-..." Finally it had seemed to click in the smaller boy's mind. The fever was obviously warping his train of thought, otherwise he too might have come to the same conclusion as Collin.

"There still should be money in the machine for you to make another call with, unless the damn thing ripped us off." The blond walked in first, picking up the phone to check for a dial-tone. "You're good! Come in here and make your call."

Collin cleared out of the smaller room and allowed Shinobu inside, who quickly took his seat on the bench again. He picked up the phone and began to dial again, first a one, then Miyagi's number. After propping the phone against his shoulder and the side of his head, he leaned back to wait again. One ring, two, three-...

"Pick up Miyagi, you-..."

"Ah, hello...?"

"I-Idiot..."